


still

by icecreamhour



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icecreamhour/pseuds/icecreamhour
Summary: jinyoung keeps calling jaebeom, even if he doesn't answer.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 17
Kudos: 51





	still

Jinyoung is cold. He’s standing outside, and he doesn’t know how long he’s been waiting. His phone is long dead, but it doesn’t matter anyways. Jaebeom doesn’t answer his calls. He reads all of his texts, and Jinyoung only knows this because his read receipts are still on. His pockets are full of coins— and he doesn’t have many left. 

He thinks his lips might be turning blue. His jacket isn’t warm enough, and he scruffs his feet against the cold ground. Jinyoung shakes his pocket one last time, and he steps back into the phone booth. 

The atmosphere feels heavy. It’s been two years. Jinyoung finally moved back, but nothing was ever the same. They slowly grew apart. He feels like all of their friends lied to them. They always said they’d be together forever. That they were soulmates. Jinyoung doesn’t want to let go. He holds the phone in his hands, playing with a coin between his fingers and wondering if he should try calling again. He knows Jaebeom is around here, somewhere, and Jinyoung hopes that he’ll show up. 

He slots the coin in, and dials the number he knows by heart. Jaebeom never changed it, even though he’s long forgotten about Jinyoung. He holds the phone to his ear, and glances behind his back to look at the street. It’s still empty, so quiet, and so cold. 

The phone rings. Jinyoung thinks it’ll go straight to voicemail again. It’s hardly even late, just before 9 o’clock. His heart is pounding in his chest, wondering if he’ll ever get to hear Jaebeom’s voice again. 

He leans against the phonebooth walls, and the call goes to voicemail again. Jinyoung slams the phone down back onto the receiver, and presses his forehead against the cold walls. He’s so tired, and the tears start welling up in the corners of his eyes. He just wants to hear his voice, one last time, if Jaebeom doesn’t want to see him again. 

The last few coins jingle in his jacket pocket when he shakes it, and he only has enough for three more tries. Jinyoung sighs in frustration, and slots in the next coin. He grips tightly onto the phone, holding it to his ear again as if it’s a lifeline. 

The phone rings. Jinyoung thinks it’ll go on forever. He’s about to give up, thinking he’ll get sent to voicemail again. The phone is static, and just as he’s about to place it back onto the receiver, Jaebeom answers. 

The background is loud— like Jaebeom’s at a bar somewhere. He wonders if he’s with their old friends. There’s laughter, and it sounds like Jaebeom is pulling away from the party. Jinyoung can hear him breathe into the phone, and Jinyoung’s at a loss for words. He feels like he needs more time, and slots another coin into the payphone. 

“Hello?” Jaebeom speaks into the phone. “Who is this?” 

Jinyoung doesn’t say anything back, and breathes into the phone. It’s been so long since he’s last heard his voice, and Jinyoung almost cries. He feels like he’s been waiting forever, and before he can even speak back, he can hear the loud sounds of the party returning. 

“Are you there?” Jaebeom asks. “I—” 

“Come back to the party,” a voice interrupts. It sounds familiar. If Jinyoung had to guess, it’s Jackson. 

“Sorry,” Jaebeom says, his voice muffled. He must be holding the phone away from his face. “I’ll be back in a second, Jackson.” 

“Alright, babe,” Jackson replies. “Be back soon, because I miss you.” 

“Calm down,” Jaebeom laughs, and the sounds of the party fade out again. He wonders if Jaebeom is standing outside in the same, cold night air that he is. 

“Hi,” Jinyoung says quietly into the phone. It’s so quiet, Jinyoung isn’t entirely sure that Jaebeom hears him. 

“Jinyoung?” Jaebeom asks, his voice falling. “Is that you?” 

“It’s,” Jinyoung’s voice breaks, and he wonders if he should just hang up now. “Yeah, it’s me,” he sounds even weaker than he did before, with his throat breaking. 

“I thought I said I didn’t want to talk to you anymore,” Jaebeom’s voice is equally as broken as his, and Jinyoung holds in his breath. “It’s over.” 

“I just,” Jinyoung stutters, and grips tightly onto the payphone. His time is running out, and Jinyoung is down to his last coin. He hears the warning, and he slots in the last coin. “I miss you.” 

He only hears silence on Jaebeom’s end. Just his slow breathing, and he wonders if Jaebeom still hurts as much as he does. If Jaebeom buys it too. That the two of them just grew apart, even though they’ve spent more years together than apart. 

“That’s funny,” Jaebeom scoffs. “Rich coming from you.” 

“Jaebeom,” he pleads. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t call me again,” Jaebeom says, more stern this time. “I’m not going to answer calls from numbers I don’t know.” 

“Don’t go,” Jinyoung sounds more desperate this time, still clinging onto the phone like it’s going to change the situation. He can feel the tears run down his cheeks, but Jinyoung knows it won’t do anything. 

“Like you did?” Jaebeom sounds angrier, and the phone warns him again. He’s only got thirty seconds left on the call. “You can’t leave, and tell me that you miss me. It’s not how this works.” 

Jinyoung doesn’t know what else to say. The speech that he practiced in his head, standing out in the cold while his ears froze. He just focuses on the sound of Jaebeom’s voice, trying to remember how his _Hello_ sounded before Jaebeom found out it was him. 

“Jaebeom—” Jinyoung starts, but the phone beeps and times out on him. 

He slams the phone against the receiver a second time, and his back slides against the walls of the phonebooth. He’s sitting on the cold floor, holding his knees to his chest. He’s not going to cry because of Jaebeom. He won’t. 

Jinyoung’s chest is still aching, and he can’t bring himself to leave the phone booth. His phone is still dead in his pocket, and he’s a far walk from home. Even after the call, it feels like Jaebeom’s voice still doesn’t stick in his mind. He wishes he could’ve recorded that first moment. Jaebeom’s voice still ringing through his ears, sweet and not knowing it was him. 

He closes his eyes, and leans his head back against the walls. He’ll only stay there for a few more minutes, but he wants to imagine things were different. If he didn’t leave. If Jaebeom didn’t insist that the both of them grew apart. Jinyoung should let go. A part of him wants to let go. When he thinks about Jaebeom’s voice, the one sound he’s been waiting to hear for so long, he decides to ignore the anger. The frustration. Jinyoung thinks about how he got to hear his laugh again, even if it was muffled. He files away all the good parts, just to keep them inside his heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> short little video companion piece can be seen [here](https://twitter.com/peachzoned/status/1301028446374522880?s=20)


End file.
